Monday, April 4, 2011
Time is tick tick ticking....
Just in case you haven't seen my multiple fb statuses or blog entries, there is STILL time to enter the She Seeks scholarship contest for the She Speaks Conference. I just entered to win a scholarship to the She Speaks conference! Link: http://www.sheseeks.org/2011/she-speaks-scholarship/ HURRY!!!! They announce the winner on Thursday!! I just hope it is one of our names :)
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Another scholarship entry...
A persistent little bugger this one... ;)
Here is another chance to win a scholarship:
I just entered to win a scholarship to the She Speaks conference! Link:
Here is another chance to win a scholarship:
I just entered to win a scholarship to the She Speaks conference! Link:
Friday, April 1, 2011
Six words
If nothing else, I am persistent...Here is another entry for a She Speaks Conference. The challenge? Tell a story in six words...here it is:
HE's revealing beauty in her ashes.
Wanna try your shot at winning? Check out She Reads blog.
HE's revealing beauty in her ashes.
Wanna try your shot at winning? Check out She Reads blog.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Hope Deferred
Hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12) is a proverb I knew by memory. But, it wasn’t until I began to endure my hopes being deferred that those words leapt off the pages of God's word and into the reality of my circumstance. We were fresh off the heels of a miscarriage and had made it to the 8 week milestone. It was time to hear a heartbeat for the first time, to see evidence of life, to finally breathe and believe that all would be well.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” I said to my husband as we walked into the doctor’s office. The grin on his face could not be erased as I plopped myself upon the examining room table. The nurse came in and began the search. I watched her as she watched the screen. First, her face showed promise, hope, as she intently searched the shadows of an ultrasound picture. After minutes, her brow began to furrow and the doctor was called into the room.
“I’m sorry,” are words you never want to hear from medical professionals, especially twice within months. Hope deferred again. And that Proverb I knew by memory, I now knew by experience. My heart was sick.
The waves of heart sickness that followed were consuming at times. I didn’t understand it. Each time I thought I had processed and healed from a broken heart, something would serve as a reminder of my hope deferred. Another friend announcing a pregnancy. A crossed out countdown on my calendar of the weeks of what would have been my pregnancy. A television show about the miracle of life. I found myself on a neverending rollercoaster of emotions.
It wasn’t until I was sitting in a church service one Sunday, listening to a sermon on Hannah, that I started to feel my wounds closing. Her story was not new to me. I had even placed her words on my refrigerator after my daughter’s birth three years ago, “I prayed for this child and the Lord granted me what I asked of Him.” (1 Samuel 1:27) But, Hannah became a friend to me that day. She understood Proverbs 13:12 just as deeply as I did.
Hannah’s story begins in the hill country of Ephraim. She had a husband who loved her named Elkanah. As was custom of the day, Elkanah had more than one wife. His other wife, Peninnah, was the epitome of a mean girl, constantly taunting her barren counterpart Hannah. Peninnah had children. Her longing for family had been fulfilled, but Hannah had a desire that could not even be understood by her loving, earthly partner Elkanah. Hannah’s heart was sick.
In 1 Samuel 1:8, we meet Hannah, completely crushed after years of her hopes being deferred and years of torment from Peninnah. Her husband didn’t understand it, asking her, “Why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” Elkanah had never experienced an ache inside that makes a person’s soul throb.
Hannah took the only remedy she knew for her sorrow. And so, “in bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.” (1 Samuel 1:10) Weeping and praying, that is all Hannah knew to do. After pouring her heart out before the Lord, He answered her and let her experience the rest of that Proverb: a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. The birth of one of the godliest men recorded in the pages of scripture, Samuel, fulfilled the longing of a heartsick woman. And the story of it all, gave this woman salve to my own wounds.
After a year of waiting, God has still not fulfilled my longing for a second child. But, He has restored my hope and healed my broken heart. I pray He will do the same for you as you experience the heartsickness of dreams deferred. Consider these things as you face your own “barrenness,” whether it be in your womb or another area of your life:
1. God has not left you. One of the greatest things God said to me through that sermon I listened to with fresh ears about Hannah was this: Barrenness does not mean God forsakenness. Just because God has allowed for your desire, whatever it is, to be delayed, either indefinitely or for a season, don’t think that He has left you. His word is clear about this: “[The Lord] will never leave or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8) In fact, God is always close to those who are brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
2. Others may not understand, but He does. I think of sweet Hannah, weeping beside her bridegroom. He couldn’t understand her grief. But, God did. And Hannah knew her heavenly Father was the only one who could comprehend the depths of her sorrow and so she went to Him with her tears, pouring out her soul to the one who would understand. God wants us to bring our “ugly cry” to Him and share with Him all the sadness in our heart. Hannah knew this and was unabashed to go before Him. We should too, especially in the midst of our despair.
3. There is always hope in the One. So often it is the suspended aspirations of our spirit that can make us lose hope. Learning to be “joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:12) is a spiritual practice we are all called to do as we face seasons of barrenness. Standing on the promises of His word while we navigate the muddy waters of our longings unfulfilled is usually the process He is encouraging us to go through in our times of postponed yearnings. Getting into His word and knowing those promises is the only the remedy for our hearts.
Hope deferred indeed makes the heart sick, but God is always there, willing and able to “heal the brokenhearted and [bind] up [your] wounds.” (Psalm 147:3) May you feel His presence in the barren times of your own life and may you learn to cry out to Him as you continue to wait for His timing of fulfilling the longings of your heart. ____________________________________________
A longing of my heart is to attend an incredible conference for writers, speakers and ministry leaders called the She Speaks Conference July 22-24 in Concord, NC. This blog was an attempt to fulfill that longing through an awesome scholarship opportunity from Ann Voskamp's Blog.
If you share a similar passion for ministry, writing and/or speaking, be sure to check out the conference and scholarship!
Here's to a longing (potentially) being fulfilled!
Until next time-
-C.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” I said to my husband as we walked into the doctor’s office. The grin on his face could not be erased as I plopped myself upon the examining room table. The nurse came in and began the search. I watched her as she watched the screen. First, her face showed promise, hope, as she intently searched the shadows of an ultrasound picture. After minutes, her brow began to furrow and the doctor was called into the room.
“I’m sorry,” are words you never want to hear from medical professionals, especially twice within months. Hope deferred again. And that Proverb I knew by memory, I now knew by experience. My heart was sick.
The waves of heart sickness that followed were consuming at times. I didn’t understand it. Each time I thought I had processed and healed from a broken heart, something would serve as a reminder of my hope deferred. Another friend announcing a pregnancy. A crossed out countdown on my calendar of the weeks of what would have been my pregnancy. A television show about the miracle of life. I found myself on a neverending rollercoaster of emotions.
It wasn’t until I was sitting in a church service one Sunday, listening to a sermon on Hannah, that I started to feel my wounds closing. Her story was not new to me. I had even placed her words on my refrigerator after my daughter’s birth three years ago, “I prayed for this child and the Lord granted me what I asked of Him.” (1 Samuel 1:27) But, Hannah became a friend to me that day. She understood Proverbs 13:12 just as deeply as I did.
Hannah’s story begins in the hill country of Ephraim. She had a husband who loved her named Elkanah. As was custom of the day, Elkanah had more than one wife. His other wife, Peninnah, was the epitome of a mean girl, constantly taunting her barren counterpart Hannah. Peninnah had children. Her longing for family had been fulfilled, but Hannah had a desire that could not even be understood by her loving, earthly partner Elkanah. Hannah’s heart was sick.
In 1 Samuel 1:8, we meet Hannah, completely crushed after years of her hopes being deferred and years of torment from Peninnah. Her husband didn’t understand it, asking her, “Why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” Elkanah had never experienced an ache inside that makes a person’s soul throb.
Hannah took the only remedy she knew for her sorrow. And so, “in bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.” (1 Samuel 1:10) Weeping and praying, that is all Hannah knew to do. After pouring her heart out before the Lord, He answered her and let her experience the rest of that Proverb: a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. The birth of one of the godliest men recorded in the pages of scripture, Samuel, fulfilled the longing of a heartsick woman. And the story of it all, gave this woman salve to my own wounds.
After a year of waiting, God has still not fulfilled my longing for a second child. But, He has restored my hope and healed my broken heart. I pray He will do the same for you as you experience the heartsickness of dreams deferred. Consider these things as you face your own “barrenness,” whether it be in your womb or another area of your life:
1. God has not left you. One of the greatest things God said to me through that sermon I listened to with fresh ears about Hannah was this: Barrenness does not mean God forsakenness. Just because God has allowed for your desire, whatever it is, to be delayed, either indefinitely or for a season, don’t think that He has left you. His word is clear about this: “[The Lord] will never leave or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8) In fact, God is always close to those who are brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
2. Others may not understand, but He does. I think of sweet Hannah, weeping beside her bridegroom. He couldn’t understand her grief. But, God did. And Hannah knew her heavenly Father was the only one who could comprehend the depths of her sorrow and so she went to Him with her tears, pouring out her soul to the one who would understand. God wants us to bring our “ugly cry” to Him and share with Him all the sadness in our heart. Hannah knew this and was unabashed to go before Him. We should too, especially in the midst of our despair.
3. There is always hope in the One. So often it is the suspended aspirations of our spirit that can make us lose hope. Learning to be “joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:12) is a spiritual practice we are all called to do as we face seasons of barrenness. Standing on the promises of His word while we navigate the muddy waters of our longings unfulfilled is usually the process He is encouraging us to go through in our times of postponed yearnings. Getting into His word and knowing those promises is the only the remedy for our hearts.
Hope deferred indeed makes the heart sick, but God is always there, willing and able to “heal the brokenhearted and [bind] up [your] wounds.” (Psalm 147:3) May you feel His presence in the barren times of your own life and may you learn to cry out to Him as you continue to wait for His timing of fulfilling the longings of your heart. ____________________________________________
A longing of my heart is to attend an incredible conference for writers, speakers and ministry leaders called the She Speaks Conference July 22-24 in Concord, NC. This blog was an attempt to fulfill that longing through an awesome scholarship opportunity from Ann Voskamp's Blog.
If you share a similar passion for ministry, writing and/or speaking, be sure to check out the conference and scholarship!
Here's to a longing (potentially) being fulfilled!
Until next time-
-C.
Friday, March 11, 2011
She Speaks Conference
It all started about four years ago. Fresh off the heels of becoming a new mommy, I got the question. "So, what do you like to do?" Besides changing a colorful array of dirty diapers and wiping spit up off my shirt, I had completely lost myself in my new role. Hobbies or interests had become a foreign concept to me. A simple question really. What do you like to do? But I was at a loss.
Ever since I was a child, I loved to write. Somewhere between then and having a precious little girl named Grace, I found it harder and harder to find the time to do so. But, that simple question from a friend reignited a passion in me that had been pushed to the back burner of life. When you decide to write again, the next logical question becomes, "About what?" Write what you know. Every writer knows that. At that time four years ago, I didn't quite know what to write about that could impact souls through my words. Then, I started to pray.
It can be a very dangerous prayer to ask God to give you something to write about. Very dangerous. After that prayer, it seemed that the next three years were riddled with trial and difficulties. First, my parent's marriage unraveled in a messy and traumatizing way. My father, who has suffered from bipolar depression his entire life, attempted to end his life. My child and I both had a serious health scare. My husband, a US Marine, deployed four times in the course of two years. We experienced two miscarriages. Job became my favorite book in the Bible. The Psalms were salve to my gaping wounds. Writing became my refuge.
In the midst of these trials, God began pointing me towards the personal ministry He had for me. We got involved in a local church and I shared my heart with one of the leaders of women's ministry. Prior to moving to our current home and before my "Job Season" as I call it, I had begun a Bible study in my home for fellow military spouses. Military families stole my heart. After my own experiences with loneliness, depression and anxiety from military life, I knew the importance of growing in God's word with a fellowship of women. After sharing this with our women's ministry leader, she encouraged me to begin a ministry for military families.
The ministry, Operation: Hope Front , began first with a lot of prayer. I had some pretty big wounds that I needed God to heal a bit before I set out ministering to others. As I prayed, I asked God to reveal what He wanted in this new ministry. He told me to dream big, not to pray just for a repeat of the home Bible study I started at our last duty station. He began a vision in me. A ministry that took care of the whole military wife: her soul through a Bible study, her physical needs through practical helps when her husband was away. He gave me a vision of a conference that brought military wives together for encouragement and spiritual nourishment during the desert of military life. He showed me a church body getting involved with the daily needs of families who were, for a period of time during deployments, widows and orphans for all intents and purposes. I met with the pastor's of our church and shared the vision. They blessed me forward and so I went, unsure of the steps God wanted me to take.
We started with a Bible study for military wives. Our first meeting had about 10 ladies. We continued forward, meeting together, getting into God's word about what He was saying to us as military spouses. We planned our first conference, 100 military wives and 100 military children attended. And then we grew. Now, we have about 50 women involved in two studies and are in the middle of the process of planning our second annual "A Day of Hope" conference on Saturday, May 14th. The ministry has begun to expand, with a new Bible study about to start for military men and a short conference session for them as well this year.
Throughout this time, God has also given me plenty to write about. How to deal with the tragedies of others. How we can use suffering to grow our spiritual walk. How to minister to fellow military families. He has crossed my path with several incredible ministries such as Proverbs 31 , Faith Deployed, and Wives of Faith who have used my writings for their publications or websites. I was recently given the opportunity to be a part of a second edition of the Faith Deployed devotional for military wives that will come out this summer.
God has also been working in me as to what He wants me to write about in the form of a book. I have been swimming in a sea of ideas for the past few years, waiting ever so patiently on the gentle nudging of the Lord as to which one He intended for me to pursue. I have been dreaming of the opportunity to attend the She Speaks Conference since I learned about it a year ago. It is an opportunity for budding Christian women writers, speakers and those in ministry to come together and learn how to follow in those dreams God has etched on their hearts. Publishers and Literary agents from some of the best Christian Publishing groups are in attendance. There is a chance to meet and fellowship with those who have a similar heart for writing, speaking and women's ministry in general. I was chomping at the bit to go last year, but the timing fell right around the time of my husband left for his most recent 7 month deployment and I was still reeling from the pain of a miscarriage. This year, however, I am just praying that God will somehow work out all the details to make it possible for me to go. I recently quit my part time job I did from home and we have gone on what I like to refer to as the "Dave Ramsey diet" (aka a budget!!) so I thought I would give it a whirl and enter to win a scholarship that is available.
God is incredible in how He can reveal to us our gifts and how He intends for us to use them. It can start with a simple question, followed by a dangerous prayer that leads to a wandering through a spiritual desert. But, at the end of it all, you can find yourself flourishing in the opportunities He presents through trials. He has used all my brokenness for His glory. He has crossed my path with those who are going through some of the same experiences I had already endured and has healed me through ministering to them. He can do a new thing, make a way for us in the wilderness, and streams in our wasteland! And I praise Him for that!
“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland."
Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
It takes a special person...
"It takes a special person to do what you do" is a comment I get over and over when people find out I am a military wife. They don't mean it to be an insult, but so often it ends up becoming one. It is almost as if they are insinuating that somehow I have some special features in my make up that make the loneliness, fears, isolation and anxieties of military life that much easier. Believe you me, I don't. In fact, those who knew me before I joined this crazy, mixed up life (who gets married and spends more time apart than together???), can testify that I did not hold the qualifications of a good military wife. I am fearful. I am anxious. I hate change. I abhor moving. I cannot stand being alone. I don't like doing things on my own. Military wife extraordinaire, I was not built to be!
But, the greatest part about God is He likes to use the ordinary, the ones who were not meant for the tasks at hand, in extraordinary situations. He likes to put the meek, timid ones in charge of spreading the gospel. He likes to take an unwed teenage girl and use her to bring the world redemption. He likes to use the stuttering, babbling man and deliver His commands through him. Yeah, our God likes taking the ordinary and using them for the extraordinary.
So, if you ever see a military wife, a single mom, a widow, a minister, a teacher or just anyone you think God built with some super special powers to do super special things, remember they were not. In fact, they are probably just ordinary, just like you, doing what God has set before them. It is so easy to not see ourselves in the people of God's word. We somehow think they held some key or knew some knowledge that we don't possess. Yet, usually the only difference between us and them is their willingness to answer His call.
Here's to all the ordinary ones...
Until next time,
-C.
But, the greatest part about God is He likes to use the ordinary, the ones who were not meant for the tasks at hand, in extraordinary situations. He likes to put the meek, timid ones in charge of spreading the gospel. He likes to take an unwed teenage girl and use her to bring the world redemption. He likes to use the stuttering, babbling man and deliver His commands through him. Yeah, our God likes taking the ordinary and using them for the extraordinary.
So, if you ever see a military wife, a single mom, a widow, a minister, a teacher or just anyone you think God built with some super special powers to do super special things, remember they were not. In fact, they are probably just ordinary, just like you, doing what God has set before them. It is so easy to not see ourselves in the people of God's word. We somehow think they held some key or knew some knowledge that we don't possess. Yet, usually the only difference between us and them is their willingness to answer His call.
"Elijah was a man just like us..." -James 5:17
Here's to all the ordinary ones...
Until next time,
-C.
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